I’m so happy to be this kid’s mama, even if she was the world’s biggest grumplebutt for most of the day. We’ve got something of a Mother’s Day photo tradition going at this point, of “happy mama, grumpy/confused kiddo” pictures:
On this, my third Mother’s Day as a mother, I’m feeling much more settled in myself than last year. (Honestly, besides therapy, the biggest help is that M sleeps most of the night most nights these days – I don’t think I can overstate how negative an impact chronic sleep deprivation has, and I urge you, dear readers, never to make light of it, if new parents mention it being hard for them. It isn’t funny, and it isn’t about them being whiny or weak.) I’m finally starting to acquire that trust in myself that I wish I’d had as a new mother, the confidence that I’m doing right by my kid, and if other folks do differently and judge me, that’s on them, and I just don’t care. I’m less afraid than I used to be. Not that I’m fearless (after all, I still have an anxiety disorder!), but being a mother has made me become…more assuredly ME.
Thank you, dear Madrigal, for making me a mama. I won’t say I’ve loved every minute of it, because I haven’t, but I sure do love YOU.