Eating breakfast with M. On the weekends, we cook up a big batch of black beans with sweet potatoes, onion, and sriracha, and we eat it for breakfast with a little bit of cheese over some cooked farro, along with a fruit-smoothie. M almost always has some of my beans and farro and some of my smoothie, too. Yum!
This article was going around a few days ago, and boy did I ever relate. The thing is, A really does quite a lot around the house, and is seriously such a wonderful partner in parenting. But even despite that, we end up in a situation where I’m almost always doing M-stuff while he does other house stuff. And it gets really old. And it’s not really anybody’s fault, it just comes down to two things: like they mention in the article, I *am* more tuned in to emotional stuff and notice M’s needs more quickly (this is just part of my personality, not even M-specific), and M is simply very mama-centric. If A and I are both home, she wants to be with ME, not daddy, pretty much always.
So our morning routine looks like this:
6:40am: alarm goes off, A gets M out of her bed and brings her to our bed for morning nursies, then gets in the shower
until ~7:10am: While A showers/gets dressed/etc, I nurse M, help her with the potty/diaper change, help her choose clothes and get dressed, read a book if there’s time
7:10-7:40am: I take my shower, but M stays in the bathroom with me to “watch” (which usually means getting everything out of drawers and yelling at me to “be done!” – so relaxing!!), so A makes his coffee and starts prepping breakfasts/lunches
7:40am-8:00am: I eat breakfast with M while A finishes up the various meal-prep things he does in the morning, which means I typically deal with all of M’s food-throwing, fork-dropping, mess-making, demanding things that she doesn’t actually want antics. I’m getting better at this, but it’s still frazzling.
8:00am-8:15am: I pack M’s diaper bag while she finishes her breakfast (she always takes longer than me), then change her diaper again for school, and dry my hair/brush my teeth while she “watches” and “helps” again. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure what A does during this time – probably washes the dishes from the meal prep? Oh, and he also gives our cat Stimpy his medicine.
8:15am-8:20am: everyone gets bundled up for work/school
8:20am-dropoff: A drives, I pass back pieces of clif bar and otherwise interact with M on the way. I carry her into the school if she doesn’t want to walk.
I get to my desk in the morning and I’m already kinda fried. And after work/school is more of the same – I hang out with M while A does cat-feeding, dinner-prep, etc. It’s not like he isn’t working hard – my goodness, he does nearly all of the housework these days! He’s absolutely doing more than a lot of spouses that I know. I’m very lucky. It’s just – gosh, doing meal-prep without a toddler clinging to me yelling at me to “be done!” would be really, really nice sometimes. I miss chopping veggies! I actually kind of like doing dishes! Life is weird.